Valentine’s Day… it’s coming…

Valentine’s Day… it’s coming…


I want to be able to read minds. But not all the time. Just on Valentine’s Day. Just this Valentine’s Day.

Because we just had a meeting at work about our upcoming show: Dave Kelly Live’s February 14th Valentine’s Show. (That’s right Blythe – I’ll be working on Valentine’s Day.) (But I got you a ticket to the show, so that’s cool, right?)

Anyway,  we’re planning all kinds of great things for the night, including special guest Paul Brandt (more on that in an upcoming post) but at the meeting a few things became clear. Actually one thing became clear.

A lot of people don’t like Valentine’s Day.

Everyone believes in spreading love and telling people we love them – but a lot of people don’t like the expectations and pressure of ALL OF LOVE HAS TO HAPPEN ON VALENTINE’S DAY WHETHER YOU’RE IN LOVE OR NOT. That’s a lot of weight for one day to carry.

If you’re in love, you have to PROVE IT.

If you’re not in love, you have to NOT WORRY ABOUT IT.

If your sort of in love, you have to PRETEND YOU’RE IN GROUP ONE.

And so we decided to do a show about love, but somehow to make it fun and easy… and no pressure. So that’s the plan.

But I still wish I could read minds that night. Because if I could – if the crowd that night was anything like the group at our meeting – then I bet if I stood backstage just before the show started, I’d read a lot of thoughts like this:

  • How did I end up here tonight?
  • Why am I with this person?
  • Why am I alone?
  • Who is this person?
  • Who am I?
  • I didn’t get a card. Should I have gotten a card? She said cards and flowers are just a money grab – but maybe I should have anyway.
  • At the end of tonight I will go home alone. Why?
  • At the end of tonight I will go home alone. Thank God.
  • At the end of tonight I would give anything to go home alone.
  • It’s been 3 months. I wonder what she’s doing tonight? Is she happier? I hope she’s happier. She looks happy on Facebook. Shit.
  • Is this the one? Am I really going to get to spend my life with this person?
  • Do I really have to SPEND MY LIFE with this person?
  • Is tonight Valentines? I totally forgot. Nobody told me.
  • His leg is touching mine. Is it on purpose? Should I hold his hand?
  • Her hands are starting to look like her Mom’s hands. When did that happen?
  • Do we get to have sex tonight? I just paid for a huge dinner. I hope so.
  • Do we HAVE to have sex tonight? I just ate a huge dinner. I want to sleep.


And most of all, I hope someone says this:

  • I can’t believe my husband decided to do a show on Valentine’s Day. And he got me a ticket. That’s so hot. I can’t wait until this show is over and I can take him home.


No pressure.